New Notebooks

More random thoughts today just for fun, this week I've felt almost like a woman obsessed and I want to keep blogging.  But I don't really have anything deep and dark on my mind worth sharing right now.  Although I haven't mentioned it this week, I hurt my back on Monday, doing some housework.  Normally something like that lasts a day or so, but here it is Friday and I can still barely move.  I've tried everything- heat, drugs, stretching- nothing has helped.  So maybe that's why I've been sitting in front of the computer so much this week.  Yes, I have a laptop, but I never ever use it- I always use the desktop in J's office.  Maybe when the seasons change and I feel the need to be outside more, I'll tote the laptop with me.

I wanted to also post photos of some of my pottery jewelry I have listed on Etsy.  I know if I want to keep the blog anonymous, I can't exactly put a link in here for my shop and my real name, but you know if you happen to stumble across my work, well.....just don't let me know.  Not like I'm revealing anything incriminating on this blog, just private enough that I don't want any of my real world peeps to find it.  Here are a few of my hand-formed beads, some buttons, and a couple of my favorite bracelet pieces.  As I've said before, I don't know how to make jewelry or sew, but I would think most folks out there who DO make jewelry, don't make their own beads and charms and pendants and such.  So I'm hoping to tap into the jewelry-making and sewing crowd.  I see some Etsy shops on there with five to eight thousand sales, all beads and handmade jewelry "supplies" like what I'm doing.  I guess I'm going to have to throw around some cha-ching to advertise and get my listings front and center.  Taken on their own my pieces look nice, but when it's just one little photo on an entire page of similar photos from everyone else, my work doesn't really stand out.  There are a ton of talented artists on Etsy.

We are leaving this afternoon and headed over to New Orleans for the next five days.  Just a very spontaneous extra-long holiday weekend, since the hubby has some time off coming to him.  New Orleans is close enough that we can drive it in one day, but far enough away that we don't get to go over there too often.  I can't wait, there is always so much to see and do there.  I love walkable cities, and New Orleans tops the list.  The last time we went, our car never left the hotel garage the entire time, we never needed it to get around.  I know, you're thinking, damn you just got back from Canada a few weeks ago.  Yep and we still have two or three more trips planned for the rest of this year.  I am fortunate that I have a hubby who loves to do and go and see as much as I do.  But after New Orleans, I'll have to settle in and stay put for awhile, to recover from my surgery.  I think we have a weekend to the mountains planned for late September, but I should be up to traveling by then.

I am looking forward to the big flea market in New Orleans, and especially all the crafts and artists who set up.  Wow, I wish I lived near an area that could support a local artist that way.  We do have a once a month street fair on the square in our downtown, but it's nothing too special.  There are two other potters who set up there, what I call "real" potters because they make bowls and mugs and such, on the wheel.  Something I don't do.  But in New Orleans?  Man that would be awesome!  So I am really hoping my back starts to feel better soon, because we'll probably go to the market and walk around on Sunday.  Right now, I'm not exactly up to it.  J wanted to cancel the trip, I said hell no!!!!

I'm going to take my alone time in New Orleans- that would be at night when J is down in the casino- to figure out how I want to end 2013 and start off 2014.  Yep, it's only August, I realize that.  And I know it probably seems incredibly anal to be worrying about the next year, when summer isn't even over from this year.  But I know that 2013 will be over with a blink of an eye.  New Orleans, then my surgery and recovery.  Then J and I have the trip to the mountains, then a trip back to his hometown.  October my parents will come for a long visit, and hopefully this time my dad won't end up in the hospital on the first day. November we'll be going on a cruise, then a very long road trip for multiple Thanksgiving visits.  My folks always come for another long visit for Christmas.  We have a couple of other mountain weekend trips later in the fall, and J has talked about going to Reno in December but I'm not sure we can squeeze that one in as much as I'd like to go.  So there, most of the rest of 2013 is already planned out and my time is spoken for.

I've already got a nice recycled notebook packed up in my suitcase, and I'll spend the next few evenings ruminating on how I want to take my life to the next level.  2013 has so far been a lot of floundering around in the shallow end, but now I'm ready to take the floaties off and swim forward into the ocean, especially with my art.  It's already too late in the year to try and think about doing fall or winter festivals, I don't have enough pieces made to fill up a table much less a pricey booth.  I haven't yet thought about my art as a real "business", just something fun to do while I'm waiting on the clothes to come out of the dryer.  No one is going to take me seriously or consider me a real business, unless I do first.  Yes, it's great to get a lot of "likes" on my Facebook page, but those are friends and family, and I love them but they don't really count!  And more than that, they aren't buying anything.

I know it sounds cliche, but I get all my great ideas at night while I'm trying to fall asleep.  And I don't keep pen and paper close at hand.  I've actually forgotten things by the next morning, and try as I might, can't come up with the vision by the following day.  I know, that's sad, that's what happens when you get old.  If I don't write notes as soon as I think of something, it's gone from my brain, never to be seen again.

In order to kick this art thing into high gear, I've got a lot to tackle.  Everything from the way my desk and studio are organized, to reordering new business cards with my Etsy link, gathering up a list of all the local street fairs (and there are a ton of them around here), and most of all focusing more of my attention and dedication to it.  I won't get anywhere just spending an hour a day on this, I've got to treat it like a job, a business, a future.  Yes, it's an extremely fun hobby and one I've wanted to pursue for a very long time.  So here I am now, finally with the time to do it right, and I'd rather not fail at this stage in my life.  This is something I can keep on doing well into my senior years.  J said if I go back to work, it has to be something I want to do and something that will be fun and that I will love.  I think all those key points fit my art.

Well off to the Big Easy, and as much as I'm looking forward to all the sights and sounds (and food!!!!), most of all I'm going to enjoy the time spent with the hubby.  And as always, I will just soak in stepping outside of my life for a moment or two.  Because when we get back, I will only gave six days to get my house and my life in order before my surgery, and I'll be down and out for a long time after that.  But I'll post next week before my right hand gets stuck in a cast.

Have a safe and happy holiday weekend!

MISS GEE

06.12 - By Unknown 0

Better Days

I wanted to post today because J is gone for the day, and that's really the only time I have the freedom to post on this anonymous blog without fear of him catching me.  Well, fear is not the right word, but you know what I mean- I don't really want him to find this blog.  I spent this morning reading over my old posts, and frankly they all sounded the same. Complaining about work, whining about my life, blah blah- full of negativity.  I don't feel as though I've moved forward one bit since starting this blog last year, and my purpose was to work out some of my issues and feelings, that are causing my depression and constant funk about life.  I don't see where I've accomplished anything in that arena yet.  I started a post a few hours ago, and decided to save it for another time, it wasn't something I wanted to think about this morning.  My Saturdays alone don't come that often and I want to enjoy it. One of J's best friends of 25 years lives in this area, and once every few weeks, they get together for a guy date.  Usually to go spend the entire day at a casino nearby.  I know J won't be home until late tonight.  I literally have the entire day to myself with nowhere that I have to be.  I wanted to work in my garden, but it has turned out to be a very wet and rainy, and cold, weekend.  So I am opting to stay inside and post about something fun.

If J was at home today, we probably would already be in town running errands like dropping off his work clothes at the dry cleaners, going to the large warehouse club to stock up on bulk items, stopping in at the grocery store, having lunch out.  That's our regular Saturday routine when we are in town, and I love it, the comfort in the normalcy and teamwork.  J and I do all our errands together, and I appreciate that I have a husband who actually enjoys going to get groceries.  It sounds so mundane, but there are weeks where our Saturdays spent buying bird seed, paper towels, and frozen pizzas, are the absolute highlights of my life! We had a great night last night, sushi dinner out with another couple, and then bowling until almost midnight- the guys drank beer all night long and we wives happily drove them home.  J deserves to have his day today, to spend the way he wants.   And so today I am balancing the housework with the things I want to do for myself.  Hell, it's after noon and I haven't even gotten out of my pajamas yet.  I celebrate that as well!

The laundry is almost done, I'm getting ready to put all the bed linens in the washer.  I've started cleaning the bathrooms, sorting the recycling, scrubbing the stove top.  But in between I've been working on pottery, and shortly I'm going to go sit in my favorite spot in the house and read.  On my Saturdays alone, I flit from place to place, working on chores a few minutes here and there, then bounding upstairs to glaze bisque bowls.  By the time J gets home tonight, I will feel as though I accomplished a great deal.  It will be a good day- I know my hubby is having a nice afternoon and blowing off the stress of a super hard week at work, and I will be able to start off my Sunday knowing that all my housework is done.  And I will have enough pieces finished and ready that I can load up my kiln tomorrow morning.

I have a lot of things that I love to do- paint, write, cook, garden- but I am very mediocre at them all.  And that's okay. I never expected to have art hanging in a gallery, or win the Pulitzer Prize for my fiction.  I've sold plenty of my crafts over the years. Back in the 80's when street fairs were all the rage, I would set up booths with my mom or friends, and sell small things.  Later on in the early 90's, I had a brief period of time when I wasn't working and I set up at flea markets and art festivals.  It wasn't enough money to make a living, just enough to make it a fun hobby that kept me going.  I have never taken art classes, and my painting is amateurish at best.  But in the new century, I've managed to sell everything I've listed on eBay or Etsy.  I just haven't listed anything since we moved here.

I had always wanted to do pottery, I've always loved buying it from little shops during weekend mountain getaways or at auctions and estate sales.  My china cabinet is full of both local pieces and vintage pottery, some even handed down to me by family.  Back in our old town, I decided one day I wanted to give it a shot, so in 2006 I signed up for a workshop at one of the city rec centers.  I was totally hooked, and went to classes every Tuesday night after work.  I would make pieces all week long, take them to classes to drop them off for firing.  I started selling everything online.  I never got a chance to take a class on using the wheel, so everything I make is formed by hand.  I do use a lot of rubber stamps for designs, but I don't really feel like that's cheating!  I also use commercial premade glazes, and most of the pottery in shops use glazes that are homemade by the potter.  Commercial glaze is a little pricey, and I do want to learn how to make my own eventually.

Moving here, I was unable to find any kind of pottery studios nearby, everything was at least 45 minutes away in any direction.  Plus now with the hours at my job expanding constantly, I was not able to commit to any kind of regular classes, even if I had the gumption to drive that distance.  Last year, my wonderful Mister finally broke down and bought me a kiln of my own.  I'd never used one before, ever.  So, being that J is so very smart and practical, we agreed on getting the smallest and least expensive kiln available.  It's actually a test kiln, which is designed for potters to test fire very small pieces, for example to see what a new glaze might look like once it's fired.  And since I just make small handmade pieces, normally 4 x 4 tiles or candle holders, it made sense.  J promised that if, in a couple of years, I decided that I wanted a larger kiln he would happily get it for me.  I think he wants to make certain this is something I will stick with, instead of my normal process of getting all excited about a new hobby only to lose interest in a few months.  A smart move, since a larger kiln will run a few thousand bucks.  Even this little one, was a dime.

I've been making pieces in the evenings and on weekends when we're at home, but so far I have not listed a single thing online to sell.  My cabinet where I've been placing all my finished pieces, is about full now.  But I have nitpicked imagined flaws on every item to the point where, I have convinced myself not to list it, that no one would want to buy it.  I'm not sure where this attitude is coming from, knowing that I successfully sold my pieces in the past.  Why am I not putting the items on my Etsy page, and letting people decide for themselves if they want to buy it or not?  I am convincing myself that suddenly I'm not good enough.  I look at all the other pottery out there on Etsy and look at mine and say, wow I suck.  But no one is going to criticize me as harshly as I will.  J is trying to be supportive and encouraging me to get everything listed.  He's even been saving small boxes for me and bubble wrap, for when I make a sale and need to ship it.  Now that is a very optimistic partner I have.  Right now, just the fact that I've actually been working on the pottery, has started me on the regular routine of working on a piece every night.  Even if it's 15 minutes of painting a coat of glaze.  Wish I could make myself get on the treadmill every night too, but that's another area of my life I'm still trying to work on.  I know I'm not a great potter, I can't make a vase or a coffee mug, but somewhere in the last 2-3 years I have lost my self-confidence in my art.  Where did it go?  Hhhmmm....

And just so everyone doesn't think I'm delusional and to show that I actually do pottery, here is one of my favorite tiles that I made and sold a few years ago, River Dance.  I actually won a blue ribbon for this piece, from an online art competition.  So I know I can do this.

I just need to find that creativity and confidence again now!

MISS GEE

11.00 - By Unknown 0